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“You can call it a comeback”

Honestly, the first half of 2009, i’ve been meaning to blog. Of course I would have blogspurts on my blogspot, but more so for venting. I guess maybe I’ve had writer’s block? Or maybe lazy? No… More like stubborn. I’ve been searching for my heart. I love you writing, and I guess you can say, I left you.

I’ve been afraid to let people know how I feel through my words. Showing my weakness is probably my weakest trait. So I struggle to write. I write, and I just save it as a draft. Well no more draft saving. That’s because tumblr doesn’t have it! I’m back. Seriously. No more “i’ll start tomorrow…” I miss writing. I miss having readers. I want to pour my heart out again. So much to say, but I don’t know how to say it. Well here it goes.

I guess you could say writing helped me develop my personality, a piece of me. Back in the xanga days, I would write stuff so deep, and I had many readers enjoying my pieces. Then I would go on to rant about how horrible my life was, or all my tough situations. Then I learned to trust God more, to lean on Him. When I took that oath to carry on His will for me, it made me more afraid to talk about how I felt. Showing weakness is my weakess trait.

So slowly, but surely, I want to stengthen this. I enjoy helping and everything, but i’ve learned I can’t hold up the fort on my own, and I have to diminish this image of invincibility because I stumble so much and I hurt more often then you think I do. I feel like i’ve been put in this position to show the people around me that I am strong, though God. To show how much God has worked in me and through me. My heart is beating faster as I type this. I guess He wants me to show my weakness.

So hear it is. My weakness. I know that I am nothing without Him. But what I hate to admit is that I am hurt, that I feel pain alot. Yes I’m another one of those cover-up people that hide it. Sometimes, I stumble and fall. And fail. But know that when it comes to other people’s feelings, other people’s obsticales, and no I am not trying to be boastful, but I know how to fix them. The only problem is fixing mine. Hehe. ehhhh.

Weakness…

I am weak alone, but through Him I am strong.